Well, inspired by , I've decided to post a journal today to give a short summary about the current status of things.
Today, my mother finally received her long-awaited funeral (which took its time, 'cause she was burned and the ash was burried today which takes this time on Germany standarts) and hopefully final rest.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwQEKA… - this is one of the songs that were played at the funeral and will be the song my father will most likely remember her by as he always used to address her as "lady" during her live.
I however, will most likely remember her by this one - www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm6LO0… - as this was one of her favorites I know about.
Our relatives were very supportive for once and were (and still are) shocked about this unexpected early demise and wished us strengh to continue with our daily live. Sometimes, things still feel surreal whose happened the way they did.
However, since most of them live pretty far away from us (with my mother's sister having to travel up all way from Italy with her family), it's mostly my father and me alone in our home.
For now, I've mostly overcome and accepted what happened ('though that doesn't make it always as easy as it sounds at first) and am glad that at least the funeral is over and my mother can finally rest in peace (hopefully). As such, I'm mostly managing on my own - but that doesn't mean my father can and it's him I'm mostly worried about.
Basically, we've been spending much time together these days, be it talking or various trips to cover up all burocracy we had to cover up regarding my mother's death. However, he's having a much harder time compared to me, mostly because he - unlike me - had practically and completely pledged himself over to her, sacrificing all of his former hobbies (and getting new ones) and free time to spend with her and doing what she likes to do (which had mostly been renovating the house + garden or minor activities).
Now, with her gone, he has lost his sense in life and has difficulties to compensate with the situation at hand. He doesn't (truly) have anyone else besides me, so we'll have a harder time to get used to this new setting, 'though mostly him - but that might become difficult to settle in quick time since all wounds are still fresh and the fact that school starts for me, again, by tomorrow.
At some point, I might dwelve about the further circumstances which had lead to her death and its connections to the past, but on that, I'll talk about once I feel ready enough to do it (the same way when we've managed to recover from all the happenings in the last two weeks), so please don't hush me about that now.
In general, it'll still take some time to get used to the overall situation and for me to hopefully return to my old path ('though, it might never be quite the same, again), but I guess, we'll manage - somehow.