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About Digital Art / Student Official Beta Tester Demon22/Germany Group :icona-p-g: A-P-G
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Apr 23, 2014
7:58 pm
Apr 23, 2014
3:30 pm
Apr 23, 2014
11:37 am
Apr 23, 2014
11:37 am
Apr 23, 2014
9:52 am
No, don't take it the wrong way, the title is purely meant in a sarcastic way - I mean seriously, what's with the whole Frozen hype anyway? From what I can tell, the whole thing's only appealing to girls who just happen to be sisters, nothing else.

But perhaps I'm too harsh on that now. No, but in some form, I'll 'let it go' now - for once, I'll finally drop my facade and finally 'enlighten' you, how "well" the last weeks - and months, perhaps even years have truly been for me.

Don't worry, I've grown so apathic about all of this now that everything I write here now is not meant as a rant and should not be judged as such.

So, what's it that I've been burdening myself with - or rather what burden what I've to go through which in not even truly my own?

I already hinted it before: long destroyed friendships , emotional instable family or any psychotic related stuff.

The first former, well - that doesn't really count and I'll take that back; it's something long before DA and even while it marks my life as well, it's not something that I'm really burdening myself with for a longer timespan or anything like it.

The latter, well, sure that has been a problem and still is a problem at times, but my "psychosis", while sometimes burdening myself with it, also is not the issue as I've been making use of it since my exile to fuel my determination to bring everything that's art related to life in a special new way and that's hardly insane at all - I'm still intellectual, doing great in school and thanks to my 'advanced imagination' I've even been able to make first successful steps to 'encode' what's in my mind onto paper, thanks to overall training and making use of that (in short, that what this year's fail of DA-April's joke was about which I 'kinda' attempt to do, but that's difficult to explain).

No, the simple truth is my long emotional instable family which has been a burden for me for the last few weeks and - in extension, years.

I once said before, I really hate to talk bad about people as I (try to) see just good in people (even if misguided at times), especially since this is my own family I'd be denigrating, but the thing is that our arguments and partially even physical quarrels have gone just too far by now.

Normally, I wouldn't say anything if it were my fault alone, but it's not. On the contrary, in the past, I've once blamed myself for how things have taken a turn for the worse, but since then a long time has passed and the topics to argue in question yet remained the same which aren't even about past misdeeds anymore, but rather things which also are still apparant in the present, but no one is able to change a thing about it.

Normally, it all wouldn't have to be like it - my father is successful, I'm doing fine... but the rest of our overall family is not and I'm slowly losing faith in all of them (and for good reasons); even my relationship with my father can be strained and distant at times...

Well, I guess for this one final time, I'll just hold one last piece back in my sorrow of sorts, just 'cause I really don't want to let things escalate much more than they already are - but I guess it won't take long before I might truly rant about what's just wrong with my family and how I'm dragged into all of this against my will...

I just can tell you, a happy family we're not - if I look around here or anywhere else IRL, it's all much more harmonic (argumentative as families still can be) - and as said before, this is a state, that's been going on for YEARS, nothing I just invented out of boredom, nothing that just came out of the blue a few weeks ago, no since the time I actually joined DA - but back there, it wasn't that bad and as such not so apparant. But since then, it has gradually grown worse and worse and while I slowly have managed it to dig myself out of my own silt I had been sinking in, still it doesn't mean that I'm completely in balance with myself, because of them.

But as said, it's a situation I can neither change anything about it as my heeds, warnings and advices are not taken seriously at all (and I've grown that much genry savy after the cycle had repeated itself so often now over these years), nor I can even break out (= packing my stuff and move out; still having to go for the Finals, no job yet and no other means to permanently escape my current stage).

So, there you have it, make the rest out of it (unless I might go on if pushed enough).
  • Listening to: Anything related to the \'Key Item\'
  • Reading: /
  • Watching: The \'Key Item\'
  • Playing: Keep my sanity together

Journal History


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(1 Reply)
Irishbrewinc Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Demon vs. a very angry hippo. Who would win?
(1 Reply)
Holy crap man thanks for giving me premium, you didn't need to do that
(1 Reply)
Hey man, i just notice that you give me a premium (i didn't notice it till now). I just wanted to say thank you for it. Also wanted to know how you are and how the project doing.
(1 Reply)
cynder-dragon-spyro Mar 8, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
düdüüüüüüüüüüümCM Diane by cynder-dragon-spyro:dummy:
(1 Reply)
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