My mother's dead

That's the harsh reality I have to life with now. About 6 hours ago, we wanted to drive her to the hospital, since she had been suffering under a certain disease I had refused to talk about 'til now which lasted about 3 months - a case of cirrhosis of the liver. She had a thick stomach and was not truly able to inhert or eject anything at all.

Tonight it was that bad that we wanted to drive her to the hospital. However, despite calling ambulance and all, she ultimately vormited a blackish goo what we later learnt was actually a mix of intestinal contents and blood and she died right there and then.

Understandably, my father is devastated and I'm in no true better shape - the only solace we received was the fact that my mother hadn't truly noticed her last moments at all and received more of a quick, painless death in contrary to the description above.

This is also goes in hand with all the happenings in the last months (which back then, I simply enlisted as "arguments" within the family) and years in addition (which I slightly brought up in my DA-Story).

And worst of all, on 2nd September, it'd have been her 53th birthday and she just died two hours before midnight/turning of the new day.

I might dwelve into things further once I'm in a better shape, but for now, I would've preferred to take some distance from everything for now.

All I want to say now is that I now truly understand how it must feel for someone to lose someone they were close to. In the past, I could only bring out my understanding, since I had never lost someone this close to me until now - now, I truly understand and feel related to the matter.

r.i.p, mom - despite our arguments, she truly was a good person at heart and had died way too soon (53), despite not deserving this early fate.